babermetrics | IC OVERFLOW AND MISC.

[ she gives him a pretty rough slap on the back. (sorry, leon!) ]

I'm fine! And they gave me a shot too!

[ must be why she's so cheery, but still! ]

[He hiccups again, sharply, though otherwise he doesn't mind the smack--even if he wouldn't normally expect it from a girl.

She's acting like she got a shot of tequila, not a shot from a doctor!]

Wait, they stuck you with somethin'? But you ain't hiccuping! Hic!

I probably got something better.

[ no, she has no idea. she just wants to one-up leon. ]

Like... I can't get the flu anymore.

You can't get that from a shot!

[

wait.

that's exactly what you get from shots. Hic!]

--I mean, why'd you get somethin' like that but I got this? That ain't fair! You seriously don't feel even a little weird?

Well, I did want to hug you, but then again...

[ she pokes at her earring as she thinks. ]

I'm kinda touchy at times...? I dunno. Is that weird?

You mean just, hic! right now? Or all the time? Nothin' wrong with just bein' that way!

[He's that way himself, which is why it's a mildly distressing moment when he realizes he hasn't been getting any in what feels like forever. And not just the sexy kind of "any." He doesn't step back far from her, in fact, just in case she wants another go at it.]

Buuut if they did that t'you by stickin' you with a thing, then it definitely gets weird!

Good point.

[ man, leon is on point right now. athena's so distracted by wanting contact with people that she can't think straight. ]

You should probably stay away from me for a while. Until this wears off, at least.

Why?

[He says that a little too quickly, and hiccups right after, whup. But really, getting away from her is the last thing on his mind right now, even if he's not going to be a gross jerk and try taking advantage of it or anything either. He laughs, awkwardly, keeping his voice low so they won't be overheard.]

I mean, it ain't like I'm complaining . . . you give pretty great hugs.

Of course, I do.

[ duh??? like that even needs to be said. but she remembers the dumb gossip column of that newspaper, and no way does she want anything about her written again! ]

But. . . do you read the newspaper?

Are you kiddin'?

[What? He'd been surprised to hear old-fashioned newspapers even existed here when Inaba had told him. Does everyone really read that thing?

More to the point, what's it got to do with anything? He sounds more than a little incredulous. Is there some reason in the papers he shouldn't hug her? Is she a serial killer? Is there some disease going around transmitted by hugging?]

What the hell's in the paper that's got anythin' to do with your hugs?

[ oh god. athena's now deciding in her head whether or not she should tell him, but her robot necklace decides to speak up for her— ]

The newspaper thinks you're a couple!

WIDGET, SHUT UP!

[ welp, nothing she can do now except clutch her face. thanks, robot necklace. ]

[There's one thing Athena can take solace in, and it's that Leon had no idea her necklace could talk and it's a little more distracting than newspaper gossip. His gaze shifts to it immediately, eyes widening.]

--What the hell, are you bugged?!

Widget is working fine!

[ Athena at least tries to muffle the sound by covering her necklace with both her hands. OH GOD, this is so embarrassing. ]

My necklace is dumb sometimes!

Why can your necklace talk?!

[Then the rest catches up.]

. . . Why's the newspaper think we're a couple? I mean, we're goin' out tomorrow, but how'd they even know that? It's just one date! You ain't even my first date here! Why would that even be in the paper?

[There are a lot of confusing things happening right now, and he's starting to forget to keep his voice down.

Wait, am I like, newspaper-famous?!]

Why are you so surprised? [ ?!?!?!? has athena maybe forgotten to mention that? ] He's an AI.

[ and in an even louder tone— ] And I have no idea! It was a couple of weeks ago, and some stupid gossip probably saw us talking for the first time and wanted to stir the pot!

I swear, if I ever see that Miss Tattler, I'm going to punch the living daylights outta her!

Heeeey, ain't that kinda harsh?

[I mean, she's implying here that being thought of as Leon's girlfriend is a fate worth punching . . . ouch.]

We're goin' out tomorrow, right? So it's not like we're together-together, but whatever! It's not like you're embarrassed to be seen with me! Right?!

I'm not embarrassed!

I just don't like gossip! It really makes me mad, you know? How would you like it if someone wrote lies about you?

[ just wait til leon finds out she has a boyfriend... from hell. . . oh boy. ]

I guess you got a point, but it kinda depends on what it is. It's publicity too! Actually, it makes me feel kinda cool I totally got in the paper even though I ain't been here long, ha ha! Does that mean people know who I am? No one's said anythin'!

[Oh man, was there a pic of him? Was it a good pic?! Now he's got to track down this paper! She does have a point, but . . . he's still pretty cheerful about this, lies or not.]

--Hey, you got a copy? Not, like, on you, unless it's on the CereVice.

I think there was an online version of the newspaper. Hold on...

[ oh my god leon...

she pulls out her cerevice and scrolls through the network. before showing the copy, though, she says— ]

Promise me you won't laugh!

What am I gonna laugh at? I wouldn't laugh at datin' you. If I would I wouldn't've asked you out, y'know?

[Heh. He leans in to skim through it; like hell he's going to read all this. He skims for his name, and when he finds it, well.

He laughs.]

Ha ha, what the hell? --I mean, I ain't laughin' at you! I swear! It's not you, it's the article! No usin' judo on me!

[Wait. He reads it over again.]

. . . Hey, it ain't terrible!

It's still gossip, no matter how "good" [ she also does the airquotes. ] it is.

[ and don't worry about her flipping leon, it looks like she has no intentions of getting violent with him right now. that's a good sign?? ]

I didn't mean the gossip, I meant my beard! And it ain't a soul patch, either!

[THIS NEWSPAPER IS SPREADING LIES AND MISINFORMATION. NOW PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK HE HAS A FUCKING SOUL PATCH. THIS CANNOT STAND.]

Those are totally dorky, what the hell!

A what?

... what's a soul patch?

[ please educate this poor and misguided soul. ]

It's like a beard that only goes right here, it's dumb as hell!

[He can't demonstrate on himself with his goatee and labret piercing in the way. So he reaches over and swipes his thumb under Athena's lip, in the spot a soul patch would go.]

Oh!

[ she kind of... jerks at the contact, but it doesn't surprise her enough to grab leon by the arm and judo flip him, at least. people need to stop surprising her!! ]

I get it. That's kind of weird... but beards are weird in general.

[ so much for tact. ]

IC OVERFLOW AND MISC.

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