[Now's not even the time to tease him about that. All she's focused on is making sure first of all that Yosuke's okay and that the twins are okay before she races out the door. Like Leon, she's not really thinking about impressing him but she's fixated on getting to him and just being there. She hadn't been there when the boys had all been pulled away from her (and Lili, she thinks, and some others.) She wasn't going to waste any more time than she had to.
It's not long after that she arrives at his apartment and she knocks on the door, worrying her lip with her teeth and only then having the clarity to realize she's not even wearing lip gloss. It's a no heels no make-up kind of put together, hair sloppily thrown up into a singular ponytail like she didn't bother to think about trying to evenly make two and a baggy sweater over a pair of shorts. In a place where she might feel more self-conscious, all she can do is curl her fingers into the sleeve of her sweater and wait for him to open the door.
[He opens it immediately. And it's not that he doesn't notice her comparative state of disarray—but all he can think about it is, she looks how I feel right now.
And she's had a rough time too. Whatever happened to her, whether she went through anything herself or just had to deal with the crap that happened to everyone else, she's suffering for it, too.
He moves to step aside and let her in, but then stops mid-step and reaches out for her instead, putting a hand on her shoulder to squeeze it, offering her a too-weak smile.]
[The shoulder-squeeze is enough to at least assure her that he's solid and he's safe for now even if she doesn't know what happened. He's here and that's more than she could ask for now considering what happened to some of the others.
She keeps her chin held high but it's fairly clear that she's shaken up by whatever's happened. She steps in a little closer, leaning into him and letting her face rest in his chest for a minute.]
You're sure? [Look what if there are injuries and things she can't see? Leon has this obsession with being cool, but if he's trying to be cool and brush off anything really concerning so help her...]
[His arms go around her immediately, hugging her lightly to his chest, stroking the ends of her hair. Right away . . . he feels better. Things he didn't even know were wrong in the first place feel easier to bear now.
And he really is plenty healthy and whole, not flinching even a little at the contact.]
Yeah, I promise! They didn't do anything to me. The guys—the people in my group, they protected me, so I got out just fine.
[If she's leaning on him a little harder than usual, she's not drawing attention to it. It's a relief that he's okay, that he's in one piece and he's here, that people protected him because she knows that Leon's only human. A human who's had some poor circumstances, sure, but he's human and he's someone she cares about more than she'd anticipated and it's for that reason it's...a little overwhelming. She's doing her best not to burst into fresh tears as she thinks about the people who haven't come back, the empty blips in her consciousness where her friends should be and instead allows her arms to wrap around his waist instead. Likewise, she feels better at least. Having someone secure helps greatly.]
I don't know if I could handle it if something did happen to you. [It's something matter-of-fact, not at all overdramatic or overblown like she sometimes can be. It's nothing but truthful.
She has to explain what happened. But first:] ...inside? [As much as she's content to just stand here until she pulls herself together, inside is probably a better option.]
[He nods and shifts his weight as if he's going to head inside . . . but that means pulling away from her, which he's reluctant to do. But sadly, it needs to be done. After a few awkward shuffling moments, he finally draws back enough to let them properly inside and shut the door, and then he waves her over to the couch, heading that way himself.
I don't know if I could handle it if something did happen to you . . .
He wants to say something about that. He's sure not going to forget it. But—what? It doesn't feel like the right time to acknowledge the way that makes him feel. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Rise's probably already had to deal with people not coming back home after last night.]
. . . You want anything? I made coffee. You okay with that?
[Inside they go and she follows, slipping off her shoes and idly glancing around his apartment before she settles onto his couch. She tucks her legs under her and she nods.]
Coffee's okay. I didn't make any at our place before I left to come here. [She'd been too concerned about getting here before something else happened. She's still watching him closely as it is.] Thanks.
[It looks like this, and it's not squeaky clean or anything, but it's not in total disarray, either. He ducks through that open doorway to grab two mugs and pour them some coffee:]
You put anything in yours?
[and goes and adds sugar and milk to his because blegh, black coffee. The smell's already waking him up some, though. He's starting to feel like a really tired guy who nonetheless lives in the real world and has coffee with his real friends who are in real trouble.]
Sugar's okay. [Somehow this apartment suits him. The couch is weirdly comfortable and her toes dig into the fluffy rug as she continues to watch him, belatedly answering.]
But of course I was going to come over as soon as I felt you again. [That could have been phrased better, but it's not. Oh well.]
[He considers adding some, but who knows how much she takes; instead he just grabs the box of cubes and brings it out with him along with the two mugs. Of course . . . she can feel people all the time, can't she? She'd felt everyone—leaving. Being taken from the colony. That's messed up in a way he can't even begin to relate to, and yet his stomach twists in sympathy anyway, like it's trying hard to do just that.
He sits down close to her, setting down the mugs and the sugar, and then after a beat, reaches out to put an arm around her if she's up for it.]
. . . I got out pretty lucky. I'm just—I guess just 'cuz I got out of there without getting hurt doesn't mean stuff back here isn't all messed up now.
[The moment he sits down and the moment his arm's around her, she really doesn't waste much time before she scoots in and leans against him again. A hand reaches out for one mug and she drops a few cubes into it, but she settles for holding it instead of drinking it. She's clear in her message that she's content this way for the time being even if she's not wholly satisfied with...everything.
But Leon's here. That's what counts to her.]
We're still waiting for some people to come back. [She says carefully, and it's the way the words catch in her throat that suggest there's more to it than she's saying.] Where did you go? I couldn't even find you guys.
[He doesn't even pick up his own coffee yet. When she leans in, he leans back, arm squeezing gently around her waist and eyes closing. Good, good idea. This makes everything just a little bit easier to think about.
It's pretty clear to him, too, what she means by that. We're still waiting for some people to come back. He might not have picked up on it if Saber hadn't died, if Usagi hadn't asked what would happen to her after she did . . . but all of that happened, even if his exact memories of it are both blessedly and frustratingly hazy. He takes in a sharp, shallow, quiet breath when Rise says it, and nods, but he doesn't push on it. No need. It explains a lot; he'd already suspected.]
. . . We all went to different places. You mean my group? The sewers. We didn't really "go" there so much as we were tricked into getting stuck down there.
[This is easier, she thinks. She doesn't have to look him in the eye and she's comfortable here, hand coming to clutch at the fabric of his shirt lightly as she listens. Her face scrunches up at the word "sewers" but she doesn't explain yet.]
What do you mean you were tricked into it? And who's we?
We got shoved down there by Mosley, me and four other people. No one I knew that well.
[He pauses to gather their names in his memory. It's like remembering the names of characters in a movie he saw; they'd all introduced themselves eventually, but it's easier to remember the names as they came up later, being called out in the middle of battle.]
Tsukino . . . Saber, Dougai, and Miyata.
[And then, because he feels compelled, even though he's not sure why—maybe because he doesn't have to look Rise in the eye, either—]
Saber's, y'know, like you said, she ain't back yet. But the rest of us are fine.
[The names aren't entirely ones she recognizes though she does know of Usagi. She doesn't think to put the girl's surname to the first name and instead she frowns heavily at the thought.
"Saber's...y'know." One more to add to the list. She can't help but curl in closer as she listens, breathing a sigh of relief.]
I'm glad the rest of you made it out of there okay. Ugh, what's that Mosley guy thinking anyway just taking people like that? [She's quiet again...] Yu-senpai, Yosuke-senpai and Dipper were all taken, too. But I don't think it was by Mosley.
[That's all she says for now. Do you dare ask the real question, Leon?]
[He's thinking about it. His arm tightens a little around her; he considers turning enough to take her right into his arms and hug her, but maybe now's not the time. Everything feels very tentative in this moment. Both of them know, and both of them are dancing around what hurts—and it's a dance Leon doesn't know the steps of. He's never had to do this before. Back home, it'd been him who was somebody's bad news once upon a time, after everything had happened.
And before that . . . his life just hadn't been touched by it. At least, not that he remembers yet.
He swallows, trying to work out what to say when he only half knows the situation he's reacting to.]
. . . I know what he was thinking. We asked the robot, before we got sent back. He let us ask him some questions. But it's—it's bullshit, it's not fair! They were using us! He admitted to it! Shoving us in crap like that 'cuz they knew it was dangerous . . . !
[Her opinion of Mosley's depleting pretty fast and she's shaking a little even in his grip. How could this happen? Why would someone send people into such a dangerous situation when they knew it was dangerous, especially if they were supposedly trying to do what was best for the residents of the colony? She's about to voice that opinion and probably call Mosley some choice words, fired up and angry and upset...when Leon asks.
Leon asks and the fight drains from her immediately. Her eyes are on her lap instead of trying to look him in the face.]
...Yosuke-senpai did. We're still waiting for Dipper and Yu-senpai to come home. [And will be waiting for days, but she won't say so. The reality that Yu and Dipper had both been killed is still a hard one to grasp.]
Now's the time to hug her; he goes from overthinking this whole situation to not thinking about it at all. He just moves, turning towards her, wrapping her in his arms and squeezing them gently around her tense body.]
[That's about the point she allows herself to sink against him, face turning to bury into his shoulder for a moment. She's still tense, still riled up and on high alert but the longer he holds her the more she starts to give up just a little. It's instinct for her to be affectionate, to shift in his arms to hold onto him even as she turns her head just slightly to continue talking even if she can't look at him.]
Yosuke-senpai's been trying to get in touch with him all night. [Him, of course, being Yu. She can't even think of how to explain about Dipper, someone who's died twice in the time she's been here. Of course she cares about Dipper. Of course she's worried for Dipper. But even so…there's something more devastating about losing Yu.] All night, sending him texts that won't go answered and keep getting bounce-backs. We were both up for a long time last night waiting. I can't feel either of them anymore. Senpai…I'm--we're supposed to keep him safe! Yosuke-senpai is his best friend, he only got here a few weeks ago. And why do I have these powers if I can't use them to help when it counts?
[Maybe it's selfish to ask that, but it's something she's guilty for. Why did the boys get dragged into this and she couldn't? How could this happen, how come her signal wasn't strong enough to get through to them to help them? If she could have, maybe she could have saved them from the damage.] He was still trying to text him when I left this morning. We don't know what else we can do and I don't know what I'm supposed to tell him. Or Mabel.
He hugs her tightly, pressing his face into her hair for a moment. He's so bad with girls crying. He's so bad at it; it reminds him of his cousin, and he'd never known how to deal with her. But this is something different. This isn't an argument. All he can do for her is hold her, and hope that his arms around her make things even a little bit better for her.
Yu . . . the guy she loved. He knows she does. And now he's gone. There's a part of him that thinks of the heartless obvious: he'll be back. It's only temporary. They all come back . . .
But no, he knows. It doesn't matter. He remembers how frantically he'd checked Kirigiri and Togami's names in his CereVice while he was under that table, how immediately he'd texted Togami after the whole thing was over, knowing he'd been taken too. How scared he'd been that it would bounce. And Togami's just a friend he barely even gets along with sometimes.
Yu is the guy she loves. He'd been the one to save her, she'd said. And now . . . ]
Hey. Hey . . . it's . . . it ain't your fault. They're the ones—they made it so there wasn't anything else we could do but this. It's not you. . . . He'll come back and he'll see and he'll know you tried, y'know? He's not gonna blame you. He'll—he'll just be happy to see you no matter what.
[On the bright side she's keeping the tears to a minimum! Sort of! …okay his shirt's probably rapidly getting damp in one spot but this is probably the only place she'll really allow herself to cry until Yu and Dipper get back. She has to stay together for Yosuke who's slowly losing his mind and Mabel who's lost her twin. Leon might be bad about this, but that's pretty much the last thing on her mind.
It helps. This helps. And somewhere in the back of her head she's a little more than pleased to think that Leon's great this way and she's…lucky, maybe, that they've developed this kind of friendship. There's another part that makes her guilty, crying over someone who's died but will come back, crying to someone who won't return at all in his own world. And further still there's the part where she's so, so glad nothing happened to him either.
Cerealia's a horrible place sometimes. She sniffs to battle back her tears and she listens even if she doesn't quite believe him just yet.]
…you think so? [He's not wrong. Yu of course would never blame her. He'd blame himself, and that's what makes this hard as well. There's a pause before there's a quiet laugh, disbelieving a bit.] I'm sorry. I came here because I was worried about you and instead you get this.
[He laughs too; it doesn't sound any happier than hers, just a quiet rough little rumble in his throat. Of course he notices his shirt getting damp, but that's fine. What else is she supposed to do? He wants her to feel better. He wishes he could just do something, exactly the right thing, perfect and magical, for her pain to go away and her smile to come back . . . but death doesn't work like that. Maybe if this were a breakup. Failing a test. Slamming her hand in the door, sure. Then he could fix it with a joke . . .
Death doesn't work like that. So he just holds on and nods, fingers stroking her hair.]
I told you I'm fine, 'kay? I didn't even get sick after . . . I'm a hundred percent okay.
[Of course he hadn't been. But it's hard to even remember, right now, faced with this, what had been wrong. How he'd felt, or even what he'd been doing earlier.]
So I got you. I—I'd give you anything you needed if I could . . . 'm sorry.
[That's Yu's department. Yu's definitely filled the void of being able to do the right thing perfectly and make things better, but to her, Leon's done something just as good. He's been nothing but himself, nothing but unleashed and unapologetic and sweet and knowing when to tone it down when it counts. He's not perfect by any means, but if she's honest neither is she. None of them are. That's what makes them all wonderful together.
So this is enough. Leaning against him with his fingers in her hair in an apartment that smells of coffee and the feel of a fuzzy, comfortable rug under her feet, this is enough.]
You guys are all the same. [She's trying to perk up a bit, trying to be more Risette this time and tease her way through it.] The world could be falling apart and you'd probably say you're fine. [But she's taking the chance to cuddle closer so apparently that matters little to her.] …I wouldn't mind if we were both a little less than fine as long as we were together. That's all you really need to do. [Finally, finally she pulls back enough to look at him with a watery little smile even as one hand comes up to cup his face a bit.] You're sweet, you know that? Thank you...
[Shit. Shit shit. What a terrible, perfect moment; his cheeks go hot under her fingers.
Here's the confusing thing about wanting to kiss her: it's not because he wants to make out, or anything beyond that. He does . . . in the abstract state of being sense. Not in the right-now sense. And he figures that's probably good and normal; what kind of asshole would want to screw a girl who was crying on him about her best friend, another guy she likes way more, not coming home because he's—gone? You'd have to be totally screwed up to be a guy like that . . .
So why does he still want to do it? Not that part. Just the kissing part. Just once, a little, no tongue or anything, to—make her feel better? Tell her how he feels about her? How he feels about her?! What the hell . . . this isn't that kind of time! What does that even mean, anyway?
Of course, he doesn't. He averts his eyes because he's a little too flustered to make eye contact, but then all he does is reach up, take her hand, and squeeze it, letting his eyelids drift closed for a moment.]
'Course I am . . . heh. It's nothing, I mean . . . you can stay all you want. You should stay. It's not—it ain't like I wanna be alone either right now—it feels empty in here.
[That's slightly more than he meant to say, but it's true. "In here" isn't even necessarily just his apartment. There's something empty in his head and chest after last night, like he's still waiting to be filled back up with life and the real world again.]
[Of course it's the perfect set-up for a kiss if the circumstances weren't so fucked up. If the circumstances were different, if her feelings for Yu didn't overcrowd everything even after all this time, if he hadn't died, if Leon didn't know so much, of course it would be the perfect set-up. But again, things aren't perfect here. It's for the best he resists. Though she trusts him greatly (and likes him very much, something she's been trying to understand herself), kissing her now would have disastrous results. On the other hand, there's a soft, more genuine laugh when his eyes dart away and then close, allowing him to take her hand.]
I'll have to go back when Yosuke and Mabel are back from work. I have to be there for them...but I don't have anywhere else to be today. [Which...isn't entirely true. She has jobs and responsibilities but they can wait. She seems to understand a little of what he says and she nods again, sitting up a little more and using her free hand to wipe her eyes.] I guess that settles it, huh? We'll stay in today. [...though.] ...you know you can come over when this place feels empty, right?
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It's not long after that she arrives at his apartment and she knocks on the door, worrying her lip with her teeth and only then having the clarity to realize she's not even wearing lip gloss. It's a no heels no make-up kind of put together, hair sloppily thrown up into a singular ponytail like she didn't bother to think about trying to evenly make two and a baggy sweater over a pair of shorts. In a place where she might feel more self-conscious, all she can do is curl her fingers into the sleeve of her sweater and wait for him to open the door.
(But the coffee will be nice, at least.)]
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And she's had a rough time too. Whatever happened to her, whether she went through anything herself or just had to deal with the crap that happened to everyone else, she's suffering for it, too.
He moves to step aside and let her in, but then stops mid-step and reaches out for her instead, putting a hand on her shoulder to squeeze it, offering her a too-weak smile.]
. . . Hey. Check it out, I'm fine . . .
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She keeps her chin held high but it's fairly clear that she's shaken up by whatever's happened. She steps in a little closer, leaning into him and letting her face rest in his chest for a minute.]
You're sure? [Look what if there are injuries and things she can't see? Leon has this obsession with being cool, but if he's trying to be cool and brush off anything really concerning so help her...]
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And he really is plenty healthy and whole, not flinching even a little at the contact.]
Yeah, I promise! They didn't do anything to me. The guys—the people in my group, they protected me, so I got out just fine.
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I don't know if I could handle it if something did happen to you. [It's something matter-of-fact, not at all overdramatic or overblown like she sometimes can be. It's nothing but truthful.
She has to explain what happened. But first:] ...inside? [As much as she's content to just stand here until she pulls herself together, inside is probably a better option.]
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I don't know if I could handle it if something did happen to you . . .
He wants to say something about that. He's sure not going to forget it. But—what? It doesn't feel like the right time to acknowledge the way that makes him feel. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Rise's probably already had to deal with people not coming back home after last night.]
. . . You want anything? I made coffee. You okay with that?
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Coffee's okay. I didn't make any at our place before I left to come here. [She'd been too concerned about getting here before something else happened. She's still watching him closely as it is.] Thanks.
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You put anything in yours?
[and goes and adds sugar and milk to his because blegh, black coffee. The smell's already waking him up some, though. He's starting to feel like a really tired guy who nonetheless lives in the real world and has coffee with his real friends who are in real trouble.]
. . . Thanks for comin' over.
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But of course I was going to come over as soon as I felt you again. [That could have been phrased better, but it's not. Oh well.]
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He sits down close to her, setting down the mugs and the sugar, and then after a beat, reaches out to put an arm around her if she's up for it.]
. . . I got out pretty lucky. I'm just—I guess just 'cuz I got out of there without getting hurt doesn't mean stuff back here isn't all messed up now.
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But Leon's here. That's what counts to her.]
We're still waiting for some people to come back. [She says carefully, and it's the way the words catch in her throat that suggest there's more to it than she's saying.] Where did you go? I couldn't even find you guys.
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It's pretty clear to him, too, what she means by that. We're still waiting for some people to come back. He might not have picked up on it if Saber hadn't died, if Usagi hadn't asked what would happen to her after she did . . . but all of that happened, even if his exact memories of it are both blessedly and frustratingly hazy. He takes in a sharp, shallow, quiet breath when Rise says it, and nods, but he doesn't push on it. No need. It explains a lot; he'd already suspected.]
. . . We all went to different places. You mean my group? The sewers. We didn't really "go" there so much as we were tricked into getting stuck down there.
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What do you mean you were tricked into it? And who's we?
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[He pauses to gather their names in his memory. It's like remembering the names of characters in a movie he saw; they'd all introduced themselves eventually, but it's easier to remember the names as they came up later, being called out in the middle of battle.]
Tsukino . . . Saber, Dougai, and Miyata.
[And then, because he feels compelled, even though he's not sure why—maybe because he doesn't have to look Rise in the eye, either—]
Saber's, y'know, like you said, she ain't back yet. But the rest of us are fine.
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"Saber's...y'know." One more to add to the list. She can't help but curl in closer as she listens, breathing a sigh of relief.]
I'm glad the rest of you made it out of there okay. Ugh, what's that Mosley guy thinking anyway just taking people like that? [She's quiet again...] Yu-senpai, Yosuke-senpai and Dipper were all taken, too. But I don't think it was by Mosley.
[That's all she says for now. Do you dare ask the real question, Leon?]
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And before that . . . his life just hadn't been touched by it. At least, not that he remembers yet.
He swallows, trying to work out what to say when he only half knows the situation he's reacting to.]
. . . I know what he was thinking. We asked the robot, before we got sent back. He let us ask him some questions. But it's—it's bullshit, it's not fair! They were using us! He admitted to it! Shoving us in crap like that 'cuz they knew it was dangerous . . . !
[And then he can't not ask, gently as he can.]
. . . Did they come home?
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Leon asks and the fight drains from her immediately. Her eyes are on her lap instead of trying to look him in the face.]
...Yosuke-senpai did. We're still waiting for Dipper and Yu-senpai to come home. [And will be waiting for days, but she won't say so. The reality that Yu and Dipper had both been killed is still a hard one to grasp.]
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Damn.
Now's the time to hug her; he goes from overthinking this whole situation to not thinking about it at all. He just moves, turning towards her, wrapping her in his arms and squeezing them gently around her tense body.]
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Yosuke-senpai's been trying to get in touch with him all night. [Him, of course, being Yu. She can't even think of how to explain about Dipper, someone who's died twice in the time she's been here. Of course she cares about Dipper. Of course she's worried for Dipper. But even so…there's something more devastating about losing Yu.] All night, sending him texts that won't go answered and keep getting bounce-backs. We were both up for a long time last night waiting. I can't feel either of them anymore. Senpai…I'm--we're supposed to keep him safe! Yosuke-senpai is his best friend, he only got here a few weeks ago. And why do I have these powers if I can't use them to help when it counts?
[Maybe it's selfish to ask that, but it's something she's guilty for. Why did the boys get dragged into this and she couldn't? How could this happen, how come her signal wasn't strong enough to get through to them to help them? If she could have, maybe she could have saved them from the damage.] He was still trying to text him when I left this morning. We don't know what else we can do and I don't know what I'm supposed to tell him. Or Mabel.
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He hugs her tightly, pressing his face into her hair for a moment. He's so bad with girls crying. He's so bad at it; it reminds him of his cousin, and he'd never known how to deal with her. But this is something different. This isn't an argument. All he can do for her is hold her, and hope that his arms around her make things even a little bit better for her.
Yu . . . the guy she loved. He knows she does. And now he's gone. There's a part of him that thinks of the heartless obvious: he'll be back. It's only temporary. They all come back . . .
But no, he knows. It doesn't matter. He remembers how frantically he'd checked Kirigiri and Togami's names in his CereVice while he was under that table, how immediately he'd texted Togami after the whole thing was over, knowing he'd been taken too. How scared he'd been that it would bounce. And Togami's just a friend he barely even gets along with sometimes.
Yu is the guy she loves. He'd been the one to save her, she'd said. And now . . . ]
Hey. Hey . . . it's . . . it ain't your fault. They're the ones—they made it so there wasn't anything else we could do but this. It's not you. . . . He'll come back and he'll see and he'll know you tried, y'know? He's not gonna blame you. He'll—he'll just be happy to see you no matter what.
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It helps. This helps. And somewhere in the back of her head she's a little more than pleased to think that Leon's great this way and she's…lucky, maybe, that they've developed this kind of friendship. There's another part that makes her guilty, crying over someone who's died but will come back, crying to someone who won't return at all in his own world. And further still there's the part where she's so, so glad nothing happened to him either.
Cerealia's a horrible place sometimes. She sniffs to battle back her tears and she listens even if she doesn't quite believe him just yet.]
…you think so? [He's not wrong. Yu of course would never blame her. He'd blame himself, and that's what makes this hard as well. There's a pause before there's a quiet laugh, disbelieving a bit.] I'm sorry. I came here because I was worried about you and instead you get this.
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Death doesn't work like that. So he just holds on and nods, fingers stroking her hair.]
I told you I'm fine, 'kay? I didn't even get sick after . . . I'm a hundred percent okay.
[Of course he hadn't been. But it's hard to even remember, right now, faced with this, what had been wrong. How he'd felt, or even what he'd been doing earlier.]
So I got you. I—I'd give you anything you needed if I could . . . 'm sorry.
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So this is enough. Leaning against him with his fingers in her hair in an apartment that smells of coffee and the feel of a fuzzy, comfortable rug under her feet, this is enough.]
You guys are all the same. [She's trying to perk up a bit, trying to be more Risette this time and tease her way through it.] The world could be falling apart and you'd probably say you're fine. [But she's taking the chance to cuddle closer so apparently that matters little to her.] …I wouldn't mind if we were both a little less than fine as long as we were together. That's all you really need to do. [Finally, finally she pulls back enough to look at him with a watery little smile even as one hand comes up to cup his face a bit.] You're sweet, you know that? Thank you...
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Here's the confusing thing about wanting to kiss her: it's not because he wants to make out, or anything beyond that. He does . . . in the abstract state of being sense. Not in the right-now sense. And he figures that's probably good and normal; what kind of asshole would want to screw a girl who was crying on him about her best friend, another guy she likes way more, not coming home because he's—gone? You'd have to be totally screwed up to be a guy like that . . .
So why does he still want to do it? Not that part. Just the kissing part. Just once, a little, no tongue or anything, to—make her feel better? Tell her how he feels about her? How he feels about her?! What the hell . . . this isn't that kind of time! What does that even mean, anyway?
Of course, he doesn't. He averts his eyes because he's a little too flustered to make eye contact, but then all he does is reach up, take her hand, and squeeze it, letting his eyelids drift closed for a moment.]
'Course I am . . . heh. It's nothing, I mean . . . you can stay all you want. You should stay. It's not—it ain't like I wanna be alone either right now—it feels empty in here.
[That's slightly more than he meant to say, but it's true. "In here" isn't even necessarily just his apartment. There's something empty in his head and chest after last night, like he's still waiting to be filled back up with life and the real world again.]
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I'll have to go back when Yosuke and Mabel are back from work. I have to be there for them...but I don't have anywhere else to be today. [Which...isn't entirely true. She has jobs and responsibilities but they can wait. She seems to understand a little of what he says and she nods again, sitting up a little more and using her free hand to wipe her eyes.] I guess that settles it, huh? We'll stay in today. [...though.] ...you know you can come over when this place feels empty, right?
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