He hugs her tightly, pressing his face into her hair for a moment. He's so bad with girls crying. He's so bad at it; it reminds him of his cousin, and he'd never known how to deal with her. But this is something different. This isn't an argument. All he can do for her is hold her, and hope that his arms around her make things even a little bit better for her.
Yu . . . the guy she loved. He knows she does. And now he's gone. There's a part of him that thinks of the heartless obvious: he'll be back. It's only temporary. They all come back . . .
But no, he knows. It doesn't matter. He remembers how frantically he'd checked Kirigiri and Togami's names in his CereVice while he was under that table, how immediately he'd texted Togami after the whole thing was over, knowing he'd been taken too. How scared he'd been that it would bounce. And Togami's just a friend he barely even gets along with sometimes.
Yu is the guy she loves. He'd been the one to save her, she'd said. And now . . . ]
Hey. Hey . . . it's . . . it ain't your fault. They're the ones—they made it so there wasn't anything else we could do but this. It's not you. . . . He'll come back and he'll see and he'll know you tried, y'know? He's not gonna blame you. He'll—he'll just be happy to see you no matter what.
[On the bright side she's keeping the tears to a minimum! Sort of! …okay his shirt's probably rapidly getting damp in one spot but this is probably the only place she'll really allow herself to cry until Yu and Dipper get back. She has to stay together for Yosuke who's slowly losing his mind and Mabel who's lost her twin. Leon might be bad about this, but that's pretty much the last thing on her mind.
It helps. This helps. And somewhere in the back of her head she's a little more than pleased to think that Leon's great this way and she's…lucky, maybe, that they've developed this kind of friendship. There's another part that makes her guilty, crying over someone who's died but will come back, crying to someone who won't return at all in his own world. And further still there's the part where she's so, so glad nothing happened to him either.
Cerealia's a horrible place sometimes. She sniffs to battle back her tears and she listens even if she doesn't quite believe him just yet.]
…you think so? [He's not wrong. Yu of course would never blame her. He'd blame himself, and that's what makes this hard as well. There's a pause before there's a quiet laugh, disbelieving a bit.] I'm sorry. I came here because I was worried about you and instead you get this.
[He laughs too; it doesn't sound any happier than hers, just a quiet rough little rumble in his throat. Of course he notices his shirt getting damp, but that's fine. What else is she supposed to do? He wants her to feel better. He wishes he could just do something, exactly the right thing, perfect and magical, for her pain to go away and her smile to come back . . . but death doesn't work like that. Maybe if this were a breakup. Failing a test. Slamming her hand in the door, sure. Then he could fix it with a joke . . .
Death doesn't work like that. So he just holds on and nods, fingers stroking her hair.]
I told you I'm fine, 'kay? I didn't even get sick after . . . I'm a hundred percent okay.
[Of course he hadn't been. But it's hard to even remember, right now, faced with this, what had been wrong. How he'd felt, or even what he'd been doing earlier.]
So I got you. I—I'd give you anything you needed if I could . . . 'm sorry.
[That's Yu's department. Yu's definitely filled the void of being able to do the right thing perfectly and make things better, but to her, Leon's done something just as good. He's been nothing but himself, nothing but unleashed and unapologetic and sweet and knowing when to tone it down when it counts. He's not perfect by any means, but if she's honest neither is she. None of them are. That's what makes them all wonderful together.
So this is enough. Leaning against him with his fingers in her hair in an apartment that smells of coffee and the feel of a fuzzy, comfortable rug under her feet, this is enough.]
You guys are all the same. [She's trying to perk up a bit, trying to be more Risette this time and tease her way through it.] The world could be falling apart and you'd probably say you're fine. [But she's taking the chance to cuddle closer so apparently that matters little to her.] …I wouldn't mind if we were both a little less than fine as long as we were together. That's all you really need to do. [Finally, finally she pulls back enough to look at him with a watery little smile even as one hand comes up to cup his face a bit.] You're sweet, you know that? Thank you...
[Shit. Shit shit. What a terrible, perfect moment; his cheeks go hot under her fingers.
Here's the confusing thing about wanting to kiss her: it's not because he wants to make out, or anything beyond that. He does . . . in the abstract state of being sense. Not in the right-now sense. And he figures that's probably good and normal; what kind of asshole would want to screw a girl who was crying on him about her best friend, another guy she likes way more, not coming home because he's—gone? You'd have to be totally screwed up to be a guy like that . . .
So why does he still want to do it? Not that part. Just the kissing part. Just once, a little, no tongue or anything, to—make her feel better? Tell her how he feels about her? How he feels about her?! What the hell . . . this isn't that kind of time! What does that even mean, anyway?
Of course, he doesn't. He averts his eyes because he's a little too flustered to make eye contact, but then all he does is reach up, take her hand, and squeeze it, letting his eyelids drift closed for a moment.]
'Course I am . . . heh. It's nothing, I mean . . . you can stay all you want. You should stay. It's not—it ain't like I wanna be alone either right now—it feels empty in here.
[That's slightly more than he meant to say, but it's true. "In here" isn't even necessarily just his apartment. There's something empty in his head and chest after last night, like he's still waiting to be filled back up with life and the real world again.]
[Of course it's the perfect set-up for a kiss if the circumstances weren't so fucked up. If the circumstances were different, if her feelings for Yu didn't overcrowd everything even after all this time, if he hadn't died, if Leon didn't know so much, of course it would be the perfect set-up. But again, things aren't perfect here. It's for the best he resists. Though she trusts him greatly (and likes him very much, something she's been trying to understand herself), kissing her now would have disastrous results. On the other hand, there's a soft, more genuine laugh when his eyes dart away and then close, allowing him to take her hand.]
I'll have to go back when Yosuke and Mabel are back from work. I have to be there for them...but I don't have anywhere else to be today. [Which...isn't entirely true. She has jobs and responsibilities but they can wait. She seems to understand a little of what he says and she nods again, sitting up a little more and using her free hand to wipe her eyes.] I guess that settles it, huh? We'll stay in today. [...though.] ...you know you can come over when this place feels empty, right?
[Phew, moment broken, at least somewhat. He shifts over to be leaning on her again, supportive, but he shakes off the spell of the inappropriate tension . . . and quickly wipes at his own eyes with the back of his hand. He's a little bit of a sympathetic crier, which is so uncool.]
Never been to your place before . . . you live with all those people? Ah, I'll only come over if you think—like, I don't wanna be there if they need time, y'know? But I guess it doesn't have to be now, anyway. . . . Thanks.
[NO IT'S SWEET...but she won't call attention to it as she props up against him comfortably.]
Mmhmm! It's me, Yu-senpai, Yosuke-senpai, and the Pines twins. Teddie used to live with us, too, but he's already disappeared. [She frowns lightly, but she immediately moves on.] Sometime in the future when things get settled again you can come over. I still think you'd get along with my senpai anyway. It'll be fine.
. . . He checked up on me, y'know? After that whole robot clone thing.
[Maybe now's not the time to talk about Yu being a good guy. It feels unfortunately like—he doesn't know, a eulogy, maybe. Saying nice words about the dead. But it's true, too, and it's out of his mouth. He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, smiling at her.]
So, I mean, we get along fine. Hanamura too. So yeah, I'll come hang out sometime! That's a lot of people in one place, huh?
[But it kind of sounds—nice. He's more than once lamented nights when his friends had to go home and leave him by himself after the day was over, and secretly treasured the very rare occasions when they didn't for whatever reason, and he didn't wake up alone.]
[She didn't know that, but it also hardly surprises her. Yu's the type to just...do that to people. Check in to make sure they're all right, keep people together. She shifts again and the arms hugging Leon slide just a little lower as she sinks back in again.]
Sounds just like him. [She nods in response to his other comment though.] Originally Yu-senpai and Yosuke-senpai were living together months before I got here. They arrived together. And then Dipper was alone so I guess they allowed him to move in...they were in a pretty crappy two-bedroom place before I came and we rented a four-room place together. Yosuke-senpai left not long after that and Rapunzel moved in for a little while before she left, too. And when Mabel showed up we offered to let her stay because it didn't seem fair to force Dipper out just to stay with his sister. It's pretty nice...sometimes there are moments where everybody else is gone but usually at least one other person or pig is around.
[He rests his chin gently on top of her head, just holding her there, enjoying the closeness. It's something he missed when he first came here and didn't know anyone well enough to have this in times like these. Over the months, things have changed . . . ]
You knew Rapunzel, huh? . . . At first I never realized how often people leave here, but I guess it happens more than I thought. . . . But that ain't the kind of topic we should mess with right now, right? That's cool! I always figured I'd wanna live alone, have my space, but now that I do, it's like the grass is always greener, know what I mean?
[He might be a sympathy crier but she's a sympathy cuddler. This is fine.]
Yeah. She's one of the first people I ever met here. Believe it or not, we met in a dumpster. I hope she's okay...if she's really in that Nexus thing. [She finally moves to take a sip of her coffee after all this time, though there's a noise of agreement. This isn't the right time to mess with such a topic.]
I definitely know what you mean...when I was always working and on tour I was alone a lot except for my manager and my team. [It's a different team than the IT. It's a team of PR reps, make-up artists, costumers, choreographers and more.] My dressing rooms were always empty before I'd have to go on stage and when I was done, it'd either be back to an empty hotel or my parents' house. I think having your own space is a little overrated.
. . . I guess for idols, there's not a lot of hanging out with groupies after, huh?
[That makes sense, he thinks. It's still a surprising thought, though; he'd always been most interested in the part of the rock star life where he gets to be surrounded by people who love him and want him and wish they could spend time with him. Don't you get your pick of people like that when you're famous? The way she describes it, it sounds—lonely.
Maybe it's an idol thing. They've got pretty strict standards for those, right?
All the same, he keeps close to her, though he takes advantage of her pulling away a little to pick up his own coffee too.]
I dunno, maybe someday I'll move. I could at least have a guest room! Right now, if I'm gonna invite someone to stay the night, it's gotta be someone I don't mind really staying the night with, if you know what I mean . . .
[She shakes her head. That's a negative with the way her agency ran. And anyway...there's also the fact that part of her didn't want to hang out with these people. They would only want to spend time with Risette and after a while, the appeal wore off.
Maybe someday she'll really explain it to Leon but now isn't the time. Curled up with Leon, still thinking about Yu, and drinking coffee? Now definitely isn't the time. She listens to him and she can't help but give him a mildly reprimanding look, though mostly playful.]
And just how many people have you had spend the night here anyway?
[She reaches a hand up to poke him square in the chest. At least this line of conversation is silly and helps her think less about Yu's fate. It hurts still, of course, but she can lighten up a bit.]
It's definitely a real question! What's the matter? Can't answer?
[It's a relief in one sense—it's playful, it's distracting, and it's a slight thrill to tempt fate and allude to things like that around someone he likes—and then on the other hand, he feels his stomach knot up with baseless anxiety at the question. There's the certainty, deep down, that whatever comes out of his mouth will ruin (something?) in (some way??) that he can't logically follow, and yet not being able to place what or why doesn't make the feeling go away.
He laughs anyway, though he can't quite hold back all of his nerves showing through.]
—You're just asking how many of my friends ever stayed the night here for whatever reason! Right? You're totally teasing me! It's just one!
[Rise likes pushing buttons and though she can't totally eliminate her sadness and distress she can tone it down. Leon's being kind enough to let her be here and be herself. The least she can do is try to cheer up a little bit for his sake. Teasing him is always fun and though she picks up on his nerves she also can't quite place why. For that, she tilts her head and gives him a curious look.]
Must be a really special friend then. [She doesn't think much of it, flopping back against his shoulder with her coffee. It's nice to gauge how he feels about things. Or stress him out on accident, either or.]
Ha ha, nnnnno, no no! Tooootally not whatever you're thinking! It ain't like that! Now I know you're definitely playing! Heh . . . !
[He sets his coffee down so he can wave his hand, as if he could literally laugh it off, as in, actually fling something away from himself, that'll be convincing, right? His stomach churns with a complicated mix of horror and excitement. These things he hasn't worked out yet feel like a knot he can't possibly untie, only cut through, but everything he can think of to cut through it is totally inappropriate right now. Not as special a friend as you. Accurate, but is now the time? He's still a little thrown off by the unfortunate urge to kiss her earlier . . .
But it's impossible to react with freaked-out defensiveness when she's being cute, too. Leaning on him. She came to check on him.
[Someday maybe she'll understand what he's thinking and just how dangerous it is to tease him this way. She doesn't think anything of it, doesn't think Leon would have thoughts about her beyond the general idea that she's pretty. She doesn't mind, but that means just teasing him the way she does with Yosuke. It's enough to get her to laugh again, more genuine than before even if it's still quiet.
She'd come to make sure he was okay, and also because she knew he'd make her feel better, too. His thanks comes as a brief surprise, but she only nods.]
You should be used to this by now. [And there's a wink before she turns, looking up at him curiously.] So what should we do with our day in? Movie?
[Movie? Oh man. He laughs, cheeks hot again, and scrubs at his hair and looks away to grab his CereVice. Sure, wanna look through my recently watched? That would definitely not go over well this time . . .
But yeah. It sounds good. Leon can't put his finger on how he feels; it's that knot inside him again, everything complicated wound up into one impossible lump. But right now, the end effect isn't bad or anything. He can work on untangling it all later. Right now he feels better because she's here, and he's pretty sure she feels better because she's here, and—that matters. More than anything.
He pulls up the app he can stream movies from, avoiding his Recently Watched queue, and tabbing straight to What's New.]
Yeah. Yeah, sounds good! Lemme know if you see anything you like and we'll watch it! I can order us food if you're hungry. I'm all about making the entertainment come to us today!
[He looks down at her again all curled up against his shoulder with a smile, feeling his own heart beat in his chest.]
[Leon it's probably for the best that Rise doesn't know what kind of weird shit you watched last time. She can turn a blind eye to most things but that would be a little harder to explain.]
Definitely!
[The important part is that he's comfortable with her here and she's looking over to review what's on the screen. They can talk about food and everything else later. Right now it's just about hanging out and being comfortable and that's all she can ask for.]
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He hugs her tightly, pressing his face into her hair for a moment. He's so bad with girls crying. He's so bad at it; it reminds him of his cousin, and he'd never known how to deal with her. But this is something different. This isn't an argument. All he can do for her is hold her, and hope that his arms around her make things even a little bit better for her.
Yu . . . the guy she loved. He knows she does. And now he's gone. There's a part of him that thinks of the heartless obvious: he'll be back. It's only temporary. They all come back . . .
But no, he knows. It doesn't matter. He remembers how frantically he'd checked Kirigiri and Togami's names in his CereVice while he was under that table, how immediately he'd texted Togami after the whole thing was over, knowing he'd been taken too. How scared he'd been that it would bounce. And Togami's just a friend he barely even gets along with sometimes.
Yu is the guy she loves. He'd been the one to save her, she'd said. And now . . . ]
Hey. Hey . . . it's . . . it ain't your fault. They're the ones—they made it so there wasn't anything else we could do but this. It's not you. . . . He'll come back and he'll see and he'll know you tried, y'know? He's not gonna blame you. He'll—he'll just be happy to see you no matter what.
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It helps. This helps. And somewhere in the back of her head she's a little more than pleased to think that Leon's great this way and she's…lucky, maybe, that they've developed this kind of friendship. There's another part that makes her guilty, crying over someone who's died but will come back, crying to someone who won't return at all in his own world. And further still there's the part where she's so, so glad nothing happened to him either.
Cerealia's a horrible place sometimes. She sniffs to battle back her tears and she listens even if she doesn't quite believe him just yet.]
…you think so? [He's not wrong. Yu of course would never blame her. He'd blame himself, and that's what makes this hard as well. There's a pause before there's a quiet laugh, disbelieving a bit.] I'm sorry. I came here because I was worried about you and instead you get this.
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Death doesn't work like that. So he just holds on and nods, fingers stroking her hair.]
I told you I'm fine, 'kay? I didn't even get sick after . . . I'm a hundred percent okay.
[Of course he hadn't been. But it's hard to even remember, right now, faced with this, what had been wrong. How he'd felt, or even what he'd been doing earlier.]
So I got you. I—I'd give you anything you needed if I could . . . 'm sorry.
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So this is enough. Leaning against him with his fingers in her hair in an apartment that smells of coffee and the feel of a fuzzy, comfortable rug under her feet, this is enough.]
You guys are all the same. [She's trying to perk up a bit, trying to be more Risette this time and tease her way through it.] The world could be falling apart and you'd probably say you're fine. [But she's taking the chance to cuddle closer so apparently that matters little to her.] …I wouldn't mind if we were both a little less than fine as long as we were together. That's all you really need to do. [Finally, finally she pulls back enough to look at him with a watery little smile even as one hand comes up to cup his face a bit.] You're sweet, you know that? Thank you...
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Here's the confusing thing about wanting to kiss her: it's not because he wants to make out, or anything beyond that. He does . . . in the abstract state of being sense. Not in the right-now sense. And he figures that's probably good and normal; what kind of asshole would want to screw a girl who was crying on him about her best friend, another guy she likes way more, not coming home because he's—gone? You'd have to be totally screwed up to be a guy like that . . .
So why does he still want to do it? Not that part. Just the kissing part. Just once, a little, no tongue or anything, to—make her feel better? Tell her how he feels about her? How he feels about her?! What the hell . . . this isn't that kind of time! What does that even mean, anyway?
Of course, he doesn't. He averts his eyes because he's a little too flustered to make eye contact, but then all he does is reach up, take her hand, and squeeze it, letting his eyelids drift closed for a moment.]
'Course I am . . . heh. It's nothing, I mean . . . you can stay all you want. You should stay. It's not—it ain't like I wanna be alone either right now—it feels empty in here.
[That's slightly more than he meant to say, but it's true. "In here" isn't even necessarily just his apartment. There's something empty in his head and chest after last night, like he's still waiting to be filled back up with life and the real world again.]
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I'll have to go back when Yosuke and Mabel are back from work. I have to be there for them...but I don't have anywhere else to be today. [Which...isn't entirely true. She has jobs and responsibilities but they can wait. She seems to understand a little of what he says and she nods again, sitting up a little more and using her free hand to wipe her eyes.] I guess that settles it, huh? We'll stay in today. [...though.] ...you know you can come over when this place feels empty, right?
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Never been to your place before . . . you live with all those people? Ah, I'll only come over if you think—like, I don't wanna be there if they need time, y'know? But I guess it doesn't have to be now, anyway. . . . Thanks.
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Mmhmm! It's me, Yu-senpai, Yosuke-senpai, and the Pines twins. Teddie used to live with us, too, but he's already disappeared. [She frowns lightly, but she immediately moves on.] Sometime in the future when things get settled again you can come over. I still think you'd get along with my senpai anyway. It'll be fine.
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[Maybe now's not the time to talk about Yu being a good guy. It feels unfortunately like—he doesn't know, a eulogy, maybe. Saying nice words about the dead. But it's true, too, and it's out of his mouth. He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, smiling at her.]
So, I mean, we get along fine. Hanamura too. So yeah, I'll come hang out sometime! That's a lot of people in one place, huh?
[But it kind of sounds—nice. He's more than once lamented nights when his friends had to go home and leave him by himself after the day was over, and secretly treasured the very rare occasions when they didn't for whatever reason, and he didn't wake up alone.]
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Sounds just like him. [She nods in response to his other comment though.] Originally Yu-senpai and Yosuke-senpai were living together months before I got here. They arrived together. And then Dipper was alone so I guess they allowed him to move in...they were in a pretty crappy two-bedroom place before I came and we rented a four-room place together. Yosuke-senpai left not long after that and Rapunzel moved in for a little while before she left, too. And when Mabel showed up we offered to let her stay because it didn't seem fair to force Dipper out just to stay with his sister. It's pretty nice...sometimes there are moments where everybody else is gone but usually at least one other person or pig is around.
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You knew Rapunzel, huh? . . . At first I never realized how often people leave here, but I guess it happens more than I thought. . . . But that ain't the kind of topic we should mess with right now, right? That's cool! I always figured I'd wanna live alone, have my space, but now that I do, it's like the grass is always greener, know what I mean?
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Yeah. She's one of the first people I ever met here. Believe it or not, we met in a dumpster. I hope she's okay...if she's really in that Nexus thing. [She finally moves to take a sip of her coffee after all this time, though there's a noise of agreement. This isn't the right time to mess with such a topic.]
I definitely know what you mean...when I was always working and on tour I was alone a lot except for my manager and my team. [It's a different team than the IT. It's a team of PR reps, make-up artists, costumers, choreographers and more.] My dressing rooms were always empty before I'd have to go on stage and when I was done, it'd either be back to an empty hotel or my parents' house. I think having your own space is a little overrated.
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[That makes sense, he thinks. It's still a surprising thought, though; he'd always been most interested in the part of the rock star life where he gets to be surrounded by people who love him and want him and wish they could spend time with him. Don't you get your pick of people like that when you're famous? The way she describes it, it sounds—lonely.
Maybe it's an idol thing. They've got pretty strict standards for those, right?
All the same, he keeps close to her, though he takes advantage of her pulling away a little to pick up his own coffee too.]
I dunno, maybe someday I'll move. I could at least have a guest room! Right now, if I'm gonna invite someone to stay the night, it's gotta be someone I don't mind really staying the night with, if you know what I mean . . .
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Maybe someday she'll really explain it to Leon but now isn't the time. Curled up with Leon, still thinking about Yu, and drinking coffee? Now definitely isn't the time. She listens to him and she can't help but give him a mildly reprimanding look, though mostly playful.]
And just how many people have you had spend the night here anyway?
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A ha ha, trick question, right? Definitely a trick question! That was totally not a real question!
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It's definitely a real question! What's the matter? Can't answer?
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He laughs anyway, though he can't quite hold back all of his nerves showing through.]
—You're just asking how many of my friends ever stayed the night here for whatever reason! Right? You're totally teasing me! It's just one!
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Must be a really special friend then. [She doesn't think much of it, flopping back against his shoulder with her coffee. It's nice to gauge how he feels about things. Or stress him out on accident, either or.]
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[He sets his coffee down so he can wave his hand, as if he could literally laugh it off, as in, actually fling something away from himself, that'll be convincing, right? His stomach churns with a complicated mix of horror and excitement. These things he hasn't worked out yet feel like a knot he can't possibly untie, only cut through, but everything he can think of to cut through it is totally inappropriate right now. Not as special a friend as you. Accurate, but is now the time? He's still a little thrown off by the unfortunate urge to kiss her earlier . . .
But it's impossible to react with freaked-out defensiveness when she's being cute, too. Leaning on him. She came to check on him.
Finally he takes a deep breath.]
—Thanks.
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She'd come to make sure he was okay, and also because she knew he'd make her feel better, too. His thanks comes as a brief surprise, but she only nods.]
You should be used to this by now. [And there's a wink before she turns, looking up at him curiously.] So what should we do with our day in? Movie?
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But yeah. It sounds good. Leon can't put his finger on how he feels; it's that knot inside him again, everything complicated wound up into one impossible lump. But right now, the end effect isn't bad or anything. He can work on untangling it all later. Right now he feels better because she's here, and he's pretty sure she feels better because she's here, and—that matters. More than anything.
He pulls up the app he can stream movies from, avoiding his Recently Watched queue, and tabbing straight to What's New.]
Yeah. Yeah, sounds good! Lemme know if you see anything you like and we'll watch it! I can order us food if you're hungry. I'm all about making the entertainment come to us today!
[He looks down at her again all curled up against his shoulder with a smile, feeling his own heart beat in his chest.]
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Definitely!
[The important part is that he's comfortable with her here and she's looking over to review what's on the screen. They can talk about food and everything else later. Right now it's just about hanging out and being comfortable and that's all she can ask for.]