protectthecastle: (thinking | that's not how it works)
Veronica of Zerestria ([personal profile] protectthecastle) wrote in [personal profile] babermetrics 2016-09-05 05:30 am (UTC)

Thank you for telling me. I was not aware that is what being a "friend with benefits" entails. It is a good thing then that you have her, is it not? As long as you are both happy, that is all that matters, I think.

I do not know why he would think that but I know that I thought that he would know better than I did. He is more experienced than I am. I am aware that there are many things I do not understand. I try, but I am not certain how it feels when you care about someone. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted to be with him, to share my happiness with him. I was happy when he told me that I was pretty. Happy in a way I had never felt before with anyone else. I was uncertain and I asked. I do not know what he was thinking and I can only hope that there will be a way for me to ask him one day.

I am not certain how to experience love. I have been confessed to before. But I could not respond. I do not know how and it seems unfair of me to tell them that I will try when I am not certain if I can care for them the way they care for me. I loved them as friends and I think it would have been cruel.
And I have asked Kaoru before, but I did not understand her explanation. I am not certain how I will know love if I cannot recognize it.

It is confusing.

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