[ Togami jerks slightly, shivering; he can't say he wasn't expecting this, but it's true that expecting something doesn't always dull the reaction.
In a rush, he realizes consciously why this is all so extra embarrassing—he's aware that he doesn't intimidate or captivate Leon enough to save himself from any hypothetical ridicule or rejection. He doesn't really have a safety net to prevent himself from looking stupid. He's historically minimized this universal human problem to the degree that most of the time, he forgets that it's a problem that people have.
But "historically" isn't the way he's doing things anymore, and it's definitely not the way he's doing things now. He can't swing more towards intimidating, or he'll scare Leon away and ultimately shoot himself in the foot. And if he tries to swing towards captivating on purpose, that has about a 100% probability of making him look stupid, so his odds are better this way.
Knowing that doesn't make him more equipped to deal with someone who isn't under his control going and feeling up his hard-on. But it at least gives him some mental clarity to push past the embarrassment and focus on pulling down those compression shorts instead. ]
no subject
[ Togami jerks slightly, shivering; he can't say he wasn't expecting this, but it's true that expecting something doesn't always dull the reaction.
In a rush, he realizes consciously why this is all so extra embarrassing—he's aware that he doesn't intimidate or captivate Leon enough to save himself from any hypothetical ridicule or rejection. He doesn't really have a safety net to prevent himself from looking stupid. He's historically minimized this universal human problem to the degree that most of the time, he forgets that it's a problem that people have.
But "historically" isn't the way he's doing things anymore, and it's definitely not the way he's doing things now. He can't swing more towards intimidating, or he'll scare Leon away and ultimately shoot himself in the foot. And if he tries to swing towards captivating on purpose, that has about a 100% probability of making him look stupid, so his odds are better this way.
Knowing that doesn't make him more equipped to deal with someone who isn't under his control going and feeling up his hard-on. But it at least gives him some mental clarity to push past the embarrassment and focus on pulling down those compression shorts instead. ]