in a way that's abruptly a little disturbing. He feels like he needs to pull down all the mental charts and observe the physical details of their current situation so that he can make absolutely sure that he is in control of himself and that Leon is way more into this than he is. The narrative of this encounter is that he is willingly tolerating this unprecedented intimacy so that he can get his own pleasure out of it. That doesn't seem to be too far off from what this is... but a crucial point is that Leon's pleasure is secondary, and Togami has no reason to have any interest in it. So a sudden thrill at Leon's desire—
Well, it did feel good, didn't it? It's still for his own benefit. He needs to calm down; he should know by now that not everything has to be a zero-sum game, and there's nothing wrong or contradictory with things being mutually beneficial... And he should have realized that this would be fundamentally different from any careful indulgence of throwaway acquaintances he may have had in the past.
He doesn't really express any of this out loud, but he also falters in the kiss, swallowing, frozen in deliberation. ]
no subject
in a way that's abruptly a little disturbing. He feels like he needs to pull down all the mental charts and observe the physical details of their current situation so that he can make absolutely sure that he is in control of himself and that Leon is way more into this than he is. The narrative of this encounter is that he is willingly tolerating this unprecedented intimacy so that he can get his own pleasure out of it. That doesn't seem to be too far off from what this is... but a crucial point is that Leon's pleasure is secondary, and Togami has no reason to have any interest in it. So a sudden thrill at Leon's desire—
Well, it did feel good, didn't it? It's still for his own benefit. He needs to calm down; he should know by now that not everything has to be a zero-sum game, and there's nothing wrong or contradictory with things being mutually beneficial... And he should have realized that this would be fundamentally different from any careful indulgence of throwaway acquaintances he may have had in the past.
He doesn't really express any of this out loud, but he also falters in the kiss, swallowing, frozen in deliberation. ]